Boundaries: A Place of Meeting, Not Separation
In the framework of Relational-Cultural Therapy (RCT), boundaries are reimagined. No longer something that you might “set” on someone, they become a matter of stating your own limits. Instead of rigid lines that separate us, boundaries are places of meeting—flexible, responsive spaces where connection and growth can thrive. This rethinking relieves the pressure a lot of us feel around communicating our own discomforts!
Control or connection?
This perspective shifts the focus from control to mutuality. Instead of boundaries acting as barriers to keep others out, they serve as bridges that allow us to authentically express our needs and limits while being open to the needs of others. Boundaries, in this sense, are not static; they evolve as relationships deepen or change.
By approaching boundaries with flexibility and authenticity, we create the potential for growth-fostering relationships. These relationships help all people involved experience the five good things, and involve thoughtful dialogue when we’re feeling pushed to our limits. In contrast to the traditional view of boundaries as a way to exert power or maintain distance, RCT invites us to consider how boundaries, or really, authentic communication of our own limits and wishes, can bring us closer—how they can help us meet each other where we are and move forward together.
How to state limits?
In order to communicate our own limits, this relational approach encourages us to ask ourselves:
- How can I state my limits to strengthen connection rather than sever it?
- How can I meet others authentically, even as I navigate my own needs?
The goal is not to create rigid walls but to foster a dynamic, living relationship where both individuals can grow. When we embrace boundaries as places of meeting, we open ourselves to richer, more meaningful connections. Are you creating barriers, or bridges?