Embracing Connection As Self-care
In today’s world, self-care has become a cultural cornerstone, framed as a matter of personal responsibility. “Don’t forget self-care!” can be found throughout online groups for caring professionals right in between descriptions of 60 hour workweeks and tearful commutes. It is described as something we handle on our own: remembering to recharge, exercise, take time in nature, and enjoy long baths. While these practices are well-intentioned, and hey, we love hikes, long baths, and a low-stakes sci-fi novel, they can reinforce a sense of isolation, placing the burden of well-being on the individual.
It’s not uncommon for people to come into therapy expressing shame about how much they care about others’ opinions or their relationships. They’ll say, “I know I shouldn’t care what other people think,” “I don’t want to be a burden,” or, “I know you’ll think I’m such a pushover.” These statements reflect a deep, cultural message that independence is strength and that relying on or prioritizing others is a weakness. But this message overlooks a core truth of being human: we are wired for connection. Caring about others and valuing relationships is not a flaw—it’s a strength. When we deny this need, we cut ourselves off from one of the most profound sources of healing and support in our lives: each other.
Relational-Cultural Therapy (RCT) offers a different perspective: we are not meant to live in isolation. Human beings thrive in community, and we grow through and toward relationships that are mutual, supportive, and affirming. From this lens, “self-care” looks less like individual responsibility and more like a collective practice. What if we reframed self-care as relational care—an approach that centers on giving and receiving support within a community?
Relational Care in Practice
Relational care is the practice of nurturing well-being through connection with others. It’s about giving and receiving support in mutual, growth-fostering relationships, where each person’s needs, feelings, and strengths are valued. It doesn’t always involve “together time,” but it does involve relational awareness. At its heart, relational care is about caring, interdependence, and the power of connection.
Relational care can take many different forms— here are some examples
- Setting aside time to have a meaningful conversation with a friend
- Providing childcare for a friend who needs some quiet time
- Prioritizing time in connection such as game nights, or walks together
- Reaching out for support “just because” rather than waiting until you feel awful
Benefits of Relational Care
Relational care is not just a feel-good idea—it’s a transformative practice with profound benefits for both individuals and communities. By embracing mutuality and connection, relational care helps us create a more sustainable, resilient foundation for well-being.
Mutual Healing
Relational care fosters mutual healing. In relationships where care is freely given and received, all people are strengthened. Offering support to others reminds us of our own value and capacity for connection, while receiving support reminds us that we do not have to solve every problem on our own. This mutual exchange deepens relational bonds, creating a ripple effect of trust and healing.
Sustainability
Relational care also offers sustainability in ways individual self-care cannot. Separately, we can only generate so much energy and resilience. But when we care for each other, we tap into a shared pool of resources that none of us could create alone. Connection becomes the well we draw from—a source of renewal that doesn’t run dry when we’re feeling depleted.
Relational Resilience
Facing life’s challenges together not only lightens the load but also fosters resilience. When we feel supported, shame and isolation are replaced with a sense of belonging and hope. The simple act of being seen and understood by another person can ease our pain, knowing we are not holding it alone.
Relational Reflecting
Take a moment to think about your own life. Have there been times when you’ve leaned on friends, family, or colleagues for support? Perhaps someone listened without judgment, helped you solve a problem, or simply showed up when you needed them most. How did those moments affect you?
Now, imagine what it might feel like to experience that kind of care regularly—not as a rare event but as part of your daily life. What would it look like to prioritize relationships where care flows freely in both directions? Relational care invites us to dream of communities where connection and mutual support are at the heart of how we care for one another—and ourselves.
A Vision For Cultural Change
Relational care isn’t just about individual relationships—it’s about creating a cultural shift. In a society that often prizes independence above all else, relational care values interdependence. It challenges the notion that we must carry our burdens alone and instead reminds us that we thrive together.
This is the vision behind our new Relational Care Group. We’re creating a space where people can come together to build supportive, growth-fostering connections. Through mutual care, we’ll practice the very principles that help us heal, grow, and thrive. For more information about our upcoming groups, use our contact form below.