Relational-Cultural Theory reminds us that our relationships shape who we are. From the first faces we see, the people we interact with help us discover our who we are. Whether we’re the life of the party, the bear-poker, or the wallflower, our interactions with others shape our selves.
One of the primary ways we do this learning is play. From childhood games to adult hobbies, play gives us a ‘practice field’ for life. It lets us try out different ways of relating to people, solve problems creatively, and even challenge some of society’s rules holding us back from forming closer connections with others.
In the context of Relational-Cultural Theory (RCT), play becomes an important medium for growth-fostering relationships and a venue for corrective relational experiences. Play is foundational to well-being throughout the lifespan— here are some of the ways:
Building Connections
Play naturally encourages interaction, connection, and learning. Since the central tenet of RCT is that people grow through and toward connection, play supports us in creating growth-fostering relationships. We develop psychological flexibility, frustration tolerance, and conflict resolution skills, all of which are foundational experiences for building healthy relational dynamics.
Corrective Relational Experiences
Play can serve as an avenue for providing “corrective relational experiences,” a core idea in RCT. Through healthy play, individuals can experience emotional safety, acceptance, and genuine interaction. Play can be a tool to correct previous or ongoing relational disruptions, whether they stem from family dynamics, societal influences, or trauma. A good story-telling game can help us develop improved empathy and perspective-taking skills.
Empowerment
Play empowers exploration and creativity. In RCT, empowerment isn’t just about individual strengths but also about co-creating a relational context in which everyone benefits. Play can create a mutual setting where all parties can explore their capabilities and limitations within a safe (but sometimes it can be imagined danger) environment.
Challenge to Individuation
RCT posits that our culture’s focus on hyper-individuation hinders relational growth. Play, in contrast, emphasizes teamwork, co-creation, and mutual enjoyment, thereby challenging the societal emphasis on individual achievement and competition. Even competitive play allows for caretaking. Some ways to stay connected while competing are pausing to ask questions during gameplay:
- Is it still fun?
- Will it still be fun if you lose?
- What are the other players’ experiences?
Repairing Disconnection
Disconnection stems from various factors including trauma, cultural oppression, or interpersonal conflicts. Play offers a low-stakes environment for individuals to re-engage with others and repair those disconnections. For example, through role-playing or storytelling, a person may gain new insights, which serve as a basis for addressing ruptures in a safer context. The playful atmosphere can lower defenses, making it easier for individuals to acknowledge disconnection and work through it in a constructive manner. At BCC we pause play to address acute disconnection in the moment, and might debrief following a harder game.
Join us at the BCC for a variety of opportunities to play, including family game afternoons, Relational TTRPGs, and more. To stay updated, follow us on the socials or enter your information in the contact form below!