Relational-Cultural Theory Terms
Authenticity: Authenticity is being true to your real feelings, thoughts, and experiences, and sharing these within a relationship, which can feel risky! In Relational-Cultural Theory (RCT), authenticity is relational; it is done with an awareness of the impact you have on others in the relationship. It does not give license to disregulated reactivity
Boundaries: In RCT, boundaries are seen as a place where we meet, rather than a point of separation or barrier. They are flexible and adapt as relationships change. They allow for authenticity in identifying needs. Emphasis is placed on the potential for growth rather than control.
Central Relational Paradox: The Central Relational Paradox captures the tenstion between our conflicting need for connection and our fear of disconnection. Our fear of disconnection can cause us to pull back and hide our true selves, resulting in the paradox: we deny ourselves true connection by hiding.
Chronic Disconnection: Chronic disconnection results from repeated experiences in which the person with less power is unable to communicate hurt. A spiral often occurs resulting in less mutuality and limiting growth.
Condemned Isolation: the repeated experience of not being heard or seen that leaves one feeling shut out of community and possibility. It can cause deep shame and further disconnection. Condemned isolation differs from solitude, where one can be alone and still feel connected.
Controlling Images: powerful stereotypes and expectations of a non-dominant group. They are perpetuated and created by systems of oppression and inequity. These images prevent authentic expression while protecting existing hierarchies and objectifications.
Discrepant Relational Image: an experience that contradicts a person’s core expectations or relational images. Frequently, they highlight a time a relationship worked out well, despite a general relational image to the contrary. Discrepant relational images can help develop more complexity and flexibility in how we connect.
Growth-Fostering relationships: Relationships are mutually growth-fostering when both parties feel they matter. These relationships encourage authenticity, empathy, and a sense of belonging.contain the Five Good Things—zest, empowerment, clarity, sense of worth, and a desire for more relationships.
- Zest: increased vitality and enjoyment when involved in a growth-fostering relationship.
- Empowerment: drives the ability to act purposefully and with agency. It can increase confidence and the capacity to heal in connection.
- Clarity: being able to more fully understand oneself, the relationship, and even the world.
- Sense of Worth: the feeling of being valued, appreciated, and deserving respect and care from others. It is enhanced through mutuality by seeing your impact on another person.
- Desire for More: indicates the contagious nature of growth-fostering relationships (GFRs). GFRs result in a desire for more and deeper connection, both within and outside of the initial relationships.
Mutuality: the shared experience of affecting one another. It is a joining together based on all participants being open to the relationship. It requires emotional availability and willingness to change. Mutuality differs from reciprocity which is a transactional expectation.
Relational Image: mental representations or expectations of relationships based on past interactions, usually early experiences and cultural forces. They influence how we approach and interpret relationships. Examples include “anger is dangerous” or “people are untrustworthy.”
Strategies of Disconnection: patterns of behavior that people use to protect themselves from the vulnerability of deeper connection and thus prevent wounding or violation. Also known as Strategies of Survival, they evolve out of an attempt to preserve whatever connection is possible by suppressing authenticity.
Supported Vulnerability: the feeling that one’s authentic representation of themself will be held with caring compassion and mutuality. While in a state of stress, vulnerability increases as does the need to enter into a supportive relationship. Dependability, respect, care, and empathic listening contribute to this sense of security.