A card reading Mutuality is the experience of affecting one another. This requires emotional availability, an openness to influence and change. Non-mutual relationships abstruct growth of all people, but particularly the development of subordinate or marginalized groups.

Mutual Meltdowns

We are tired. We need healing. It’s likely we’ve lost people, dreams, cherished ways of being, and not been held in our grief because we were all too busy surviving. Slow down. It’s impossible to rush wellness. Lean into each other. Allow ourselves to mourn together, to mutually hold each other. Trust that allowing mutuality leads to healing. We are in collective pain, and the antidote is messy, authentic, mutuality.

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2021-2022 Relational Cadre

We have a few openings for individuals or organizations to join our first ever Relational Cadre! If you join as an organization, you can select representatives to participate and share their explorations with your team. If you’re ready to sign up, click here! If you want more information, continue reading! The Relational Cadre is a series of six small-group discussions focusing on different aspects of a central theme, through the lens of Relational-Cultural Theory (RCT). […]

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Kids hands in clay

Stress Management for Fifth and Sixth Graders

Offering evidenced based coping tools nested in expressive arts (swing by to pick up your child’s weekly brown bag project, or ask us to deliver) and relational work, these fun meetings will be on Tuesday evenings from 4:30-5:15, on March 23, 30, and April 6, 13, 20, and 27th. Scholarships and sliding scale available!

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Care for each other

Feeling Love From a Distance

One of the tools we’ve been trying to use, is Amy Banks’ idea of Positive Relational Moments. In her book, Wired To Connect, Banks defines PRMs as moments you felt “safe and happy in another person’s presence.” Returning to your PRMs can slow or even reverse a downward spiral of stress and isolation by activating healthy neural pathways. It’s not always easy to pull up a PRM on demand though, sometimes we could use a reminder– a picture, an email, a journal entry, or, now, an Appreciation Effect campaign.

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Caring for kids during Covid-19

This isn’t the time to implement your dream of recreating Little House on the Prairie, unless that comes easily to you and helps all of you feel better. Reassess frequently, and if what you’re doing is creating more power struggles, don’t be afraid to toss it and start over.

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A collection of icons representing the Five Good Things

Five Good Things

A Growth Fostering Relationship is marked by the Five Good Things. Coined by Jean Baker Miller in her transformational book, Toward a New Psychology of Women. These are the qualities of a relationship that creates fulfillment and counters inauthenticity and inequity. They include:

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Connecting with Imperfection

No matter how much confidence she exhibited while offering home remedies for infant constipation and baby food recipes, she struggled with uncertainty. The matriarchal totem is full of mamas making mistakes while making meaning. I’m grateful for their wisdom.

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Untamed Landscape

RCT for Survivalists

What skills will we take into this unknown? If our kids will be growing up in a revolution, what do we need to teach them?

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Fast, Shallow, Breaths

It’s a paradox. Our connection will help soothe our anxious brains, but it can’t work if it can’t first see what is there. The first work of that connection is seeing the anxiety/rage/discomfort/whatever and letting it be there. It can’t be trying to suppress, fix, or avoid it. But once we have that acceptance of what is, that authentic connection in the midst of struggle, there’s enough solid ground for calm to take root. We have to risk the fast shallow breaths to get to the good deep ones.

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